The UberLimericks of Shatner

A slightly more limited art-form than Haiku. As you can see below, the fact that "Kirk" rhymes with "Jerk" seems to be the muse for our Limerick-poets. Enjoy!

 

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There once was a Captain named Kirk
From an obscure Television quirk
The fans were elated
The show syndicated
Now Kirk counts his cash with a smirk

There once was a captain named Kirk
An actor who needed the work
To cons he did attend
Fellow cast members he did offend
Now they all think he's a jerk!!

There once was a Captain named Kirk
Who from danger never did shirk
The Klingons all feared him
The humans revered him
I need something to make this line work

The first time I gazed on the divine icon of Bill
I knew that I had no more free will
It is imperative to fight
For what Kirk deems right
And let FCOS my mind kill

There once was a Captain named Kirk
Whose follicles just didn't work
He gave them a hand-
The best wig in the land-
But looked a Galactical Jerk.

Kirk is really a ham
singing "Mr. Tambourine Man"
he's certainly killin'
the likes of Bob Dylan
Please grab the microphone....WHAM!!

To the One True Shatner (and cast)
Of the BEST Trek series now past.
We mourn your demise.
Boys all chest, girls all Thighs.
And fly our flags, like our trousers, at half-mast!

The captain just couldn't score
till Spock had shown him the spores
Kirk's pants grew a lump
and he started to hump
Now the captain's got nothing but sores

 

Click on my red bow
To teleport back to the
Shatner Poem Page
The preceeding Haiku was written by the Grand High Arch Uberpopetitude. All rights reserved. Amen.